


Daybreak

by orphan_account



Series: The Canals Running Through My Heart [3]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Don't Repost Onto Another Site, Emotional Manipulation, Light Swearing, Sometimes unreliable narrator, Verbal Abuse, blink and you'll miss them, don't copy onto another site, minos? a bitch, no beta we die like men, vague references to suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-19 05:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22705831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Nico doesn't know much, but he knows hate. He knows indifference. He knows abandonment.He knows what love is. He knows this isn't quite it.
Relationships: Bianca di Angelo & Nico di Angelo, Maria di Angelo & Nico di Angelo, Nico di Angelo & Hades, Nico di Angelo & Minos (Percy Jackson), Nico di Angelo & Percy Jackson
Series: The Canals Running Through My Heart [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1097877
Comments: 4
Kudos: 129





	Daybreak

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the Percy Jackson series, nor do I claim to. I don't make any profit from this story. 
> 
> thank you for coming to my ted talk
> 
> also, there are some recognizable pieces of dialogue in here, but I tried to paraphrase a bit, so

Apà doesn't visit anymore. He used to kiss Nico on the head when he did. Used to watch with that small smile as Nico and Bianca played. Used to sit with him in the sun.

Nico misses him, but Mamma tells him it's no use wishing for things he can't have, things that were already too good to be true. Apà is too important, too busy, too involved with them as it is. Nico thinks it's all a bit like God. He loves them more than anything,

(Matthew 7:7 _"_ _Ask, and it shall be given you..."_ )

but Nico hasn't gotten anything yet. Mamma tells him to be patient or tells him that it was never meant to be.

Apà was never meant to be.

Nico should be grateful he knew him at all. 

He is.

* * *

Days pass like dreams after Mamma dies. Apà was there, he thinks. Everything is a fleeting mess of faces, words, feelings, and things he can never hope to understand. Apà might not have been there at all, but Nick can still feel cold lips on his forehead. Or maybe it's Mamma's hand just as he remembers it, but dead. Or maybe it's just Bianca making sure he isn't sick.

Or maybe it's nothing at all.

(He wakes up to D.C.'s overcast sky.)

(Nico doesn't like being cold.)

* * *

When they were very young, Nico and Bianca were the best of friends. Slowly, they grew apart. Now they're all each other has, but their relationship is based on memories of getting along. Soon enough, they don't even have that.

All they know is how the other's face is almost a mirror image of their own. All they know is that they should love each other. All they know is Mamma's eyes in Nico and Apà's in Bianca.

All they know is each other.

Love comes easily, this way.

(Outside, it begins to rain.)

* * *

Nico doesn't remember his mother very well. 

(A crack like a whole forest toppling, but the ceiling beam colliding with Mamma is somehow a thousand times louder.)

(Apà shrouds him and Bianca, but not before the blood touches Nico's face.)

Her absence eats at him still, carving patterns like termites and rotting his innards away until all that's left is Bianca. Some days, all he wants to do is hold her hand or hug her for hours, but she'd probably slap him and reprimand him for being clingy. He is, he knows that, but the knowledge doesn't stop it from hurting. Apà used to let–

No, that's wrong.

Nico's never met his father.

(It's pouring.)

* * *

There's this kid.

He has abandonment issues, or at least that's what he calls them. He's not proud or snobby about it, but he still talks about it freely. He doesn't ask to be treated differently. He plays Mythomagic with Nico.

It makes his chest burn with shame and fear, but Nico might be in love with him. He's told Bianca, but she was distracted when he did. Nico's not sure if she accepts him and loves him still or if she just forgot.

...Nico isn't going to tell her twice.

(The storm calms. For now.)

* * *

Dances are _boring_. The converted gym is lame and crowded, full of people he doesn't want to talk to and who don't want to talk to him. There's just Bianca, but he feels bad about taking up her time— _she_ has friends. Still, she hangs with him, ever the dutiful sister. They can be bored together.

It's a boring dance until Dr. Thorn reveals himself to be a monster straight out of Mythomagic. 

It's exciting and terrifying, but–

There's this kid.

Percy Jackson has blue-green eyes, is braver than Nico can ever hope to be, is stronger and more kind and fierce and, and, and–

And the blonde girl falls off a cliff, silver arrows fly, but it doesn't matter because Bianca decides she doesn't want him taking up her time anymore.

(It's a pain, a dread, a horrible sensation in his chest and spine that extends all the way from his toes to the tip of his nose. He doesn't remember his mother well, but he remembers _this_.)

Nico might be oblivious and too forthcoming and not the smartest person in the world, but he knows how to smile. He knows how to fake one, he knows how to want to.

Bianca is all he's had for a long time and Nico's always been bad at letting things go.

(The sun greets him with a smile, but Nico's never felt so cold in his shining light.)

* * *

When all the excitement starts winding down, Nico finds that all he can really do is dwell on his dread. It crawls all over the place, touches his head like cold, _cold_ lips. He finds that his smile slips in the quiet moments alone (Nico hates those), so he tries to be active and productive.

Productive, meaning that he stalks the Hunters of Artemis.

He's always been good at being inconspicuous, surprisingly. It's easy to spy on Bianca, worryingly so. If she and her friends can't sense him, how is he supposed to believe she'll be safe?

(Nico hasn't been sleeping well ever since he got to Camp. Bianca has been dying in his dreams, and... maybe his full-body dread is more of a _warning_ than a _memory_.)

He's mad at her, feels betrayed and afraid, but he still wants her to be _safe_. Bianca took care of him, taught him right from wrong, but Nico saw the things she couldn't. He's always felt that it's his duty to protect her from those things just as she has always protected him.

He can do anything if it means keeping her safe.

Despite many people's impressions, Nico is a very good manipulator. Couple that with his pushy perseverance– Well, Percy Jackson never stood a chance.

"You're planning to go anyway, aren't you?"

Percy tries to get himself out of it, but–

You can't lie to Nico.

(Unless he wants you to.)

"I won't tell on you, but you have to _promise_ to keep my sister safe."

Nico's a good person, really, but he'd do anything for his sister.

(The sun escapes behind the clouds, leaving a layer of frost on the world below.)

* * *

"Let's take a walk, okay? We need to talk."

Nico puts his hands on his ears, not to block Percy out like some brat child, but to alleviate the ringing that has only been getting louder since he first started having his nightmares.

Bianca's dead and he can feel it and it hurts something more than physical.

God, he just want her **_back_**.

(It's snowing.)

* * *

A labyrinth. _The_ Labyrinth. It reminds Nico of subway systems, actually. Bianca was much better with those. But Bianca's dead and Nico is very, very _lost_.

It's just when he thinks he might starve to death that Minos finds him. He shows him out and takes him back in, over and over. Then he takes him to the Underworld. And back. Over and over.

Mostly, it goes like this–

_“weakness is what got your sister killed, you're pathetic, i give you so much and this is how you repay me?, you can do better than that, good, you're finally getting the hang of things, you insolent child, you. are. weak._

_you know, if you killed them–_

_oh, i apologize, master—in death i forget myself.”_

And sometimes it's–

 _“an exchange, a soul for a soul.”_  
  
"I’ve offered!"

_“do you want revenge for your sister or not?”_

(There is no sun in the Underworld.)

* * *

A soul for a soul. A soul for a soul. A soul for a soul. A soul–

He hates Percy. He _promised_ and now everything's confusing and hard and scary and _empty_.

He hates that Bianca would rather contact Percy than him. He knows he's mad at her, but he doesn't want to be. He's supposed to love her, right? He does. He doesn't want to mad at her but he's _so angry_.

He hates that Percy and his friends are afraid of him, of what his anger might do. Bianca was never afraid of his rage—she understood. She got angry like him, too. Bianca was only ever afraid _for_ him.

Bianca, Bianca, Bianca–

Bianca is right in front of him and she's not as he remembers.

He can't ever have her back, can he?

That's all he wants. He's fine with sleeping on benches, living on the streets, starving if it means he can have her back. He's _done_ that.

They all keep talking about Kronos this, Kronos that, and they're afraid. He can feel it. He's ashamed and guilty, but their fear isn't like the dread he feels when he thinks of Bianca being gone. Of being alone.

So why is it that all his actions isolate him further?

(Ice melts as the snow warms into rain.)

* * *

_“they are in danger, i have seen it for myself, don't you care? you are a fool to care, you know. but you are my master, aren't you? go, help them if it pleases you. i will show you the way.”_

(Nico is a good person, really–)

Nico has always taken pride in his ability to lie and not be lied to. He can't believe how easy he was to manipulate—he's in shackles, now, as Minos tries to exact his revenge against Daedalus and take Percy down with him. 

Nico won't have any of that. Breaking free of chains easy when you're stubborn.

"I am the son of Hades," Nico insists. "Be gone!"

_(Cold lips on his forehead, a tall man with a hesitant smile that's loving all the same.)_

Minos laughs, more corporeal than ever before.

"You have no power over me. I am the lord of spirits! The Ghost King!"

He's lost all control. He's never had much of that, can't even remember his own mother.

_(A crack like a whole forest toppling, but the ceiling beam colliding with Mamma is somehow a thousand times louder.)_

"No." 

_(The blood touches Nico's face.)_

" _I_ am."

(He doesn't need the sun.)

* * *

Bianca answers him, this time, at Camp Half-Blood. She knows he let Daedalus's soul pass peacefully instead of ransoming it for hers. There isn't much he's been planning to tell her—his life on the streets isn't all that exciting or joyous, so Nico supposes he should just say goodbye. 

Say that he's sorry. That he forgives her. That he loves her, forever and ever.

He's not entirely sure _why_ this is goodbye, being children of Hades and all, but they both _know_ that it is. So Nico is letting go, even if he feels unready. 

He could never be ready.

* * *

Nico meets his father, Hades. He just wants to know about his mother. He deserves to know. He's entitled to his memories, isn't he?

Somehow, all Father has to say for himself is, "Bianca should be where you are, instead."

It's not that Nico doesn't believe the same, but the cutting words bring shock and vulnerability that string his emotions along. Anger, betrayal, shame, and acceptance all coalesce into a single, bitter, desparate thought.

_You used to sweep my floor._

It's unclear and fleeting, but it's a memory all the same.

And, now, they can't stop.

_You used to bake cookies with me. You used to cut my hair. You used to play dot-to-dot with me. You used to read my books aloud. You used to sing with me. You used to peel my apples._

_You used to sit outside in the sun and just watch the clouds pass by with me._

To Nico, the thoughts hold deeper meanings than being just random half-memories.

~~_You used to love me._ ~~

Father is flippant and cold, displeased beyond words with Nico for not being Bianca. Nico knows when he is being dismissed and takes his leave.

Nevertheless, he still finds a silver ring in the shape of a skull in his pocket.

He puts it on without question.

* * *

_(Cold lips on his forehead, cold hands in his hair, a hesitant smile, a_ _look of terrible,_ terrible _nostalgia–)_

Nico doesn't know much, but he knows hate. He knows indifference. He knows abandonment. 

He knows what love is. He knows this isn't quite it.

_(Tears that never fall from eyes that can only see a coward reflected in his son's own eyes, distrust of that gummy smile, fear for his child's stupidity and humanity–)_

* * *

Bianca has always been a rather gloomy child, but she's _smart_ ; she understands others and herself more than Hades can ever hope to. She's like Maria, in that way. She's strong, too—pebbles rattle and roll whenever she throws a tantrum. 

She's the perfect mixture of Maria and Hades—the moral and mental strength of her mother with Hades' stubborn steel in her eyes.

Hades is hopelessly fond.

(He might be a bit of a push-over parent, considering Bianca's got him _thoroughly_ wrapped around her little pinky finger.)

* * *

Nico is not like his sister.

He's clingy and _weak_ , oblivious to others, and far too earnest. Easy to manipulate. He has the humanity that Hades so loves in Maria, an innocence doomed to never last.

He has Maria's heart of gold without her intellect to protect it. Just Hades' stupidity.

(Hades is reminded of a time long, long ago. He had been weak and clingy at a young, young age, and it only made him miserable. Made him... a coward. Made him who he is.)

(For a god, Hades is not so self-loving.)

* * *

It's... odd, seeing Nico smile. Hades doesn't do much of it himself, but somehow he knows it's a mirror image of his own. Bianca always giggles when Nico smiles, so in that way, it's... nice. It's nice knowing that Bianca has always been happy to have a sibling.

She was more mature about it when she was _two_ than Zeus is, who's pushing _two thousand_. And he's not even the oldest! Just ridiculous. 

Sometimes, when Maria needs a nap from watching toddlers for half the year without help, Hades finds himself being dragged outside by a smiling Nico. Bianca's perfectly happy staying indoors and practicing her reading, but Nico has some _sick_ obsession with being warm and in the sun.

* * *

So maybe Hades is a little touch-starved. And maybe he insists that he doesn't like to be touched. But Nico _loves_ the contact and– well, how can showing your child affection be damaging?

So maybe he indulges Nico's childish impulses. Maybe because he's weak. Maybe he hates that about himself.

And maybe he sees too much of himself in Nico.

He loves Nico, but it's... _uncomfortable_ loving someone who reminds you of yourself at every turn.

Who inevitably reminds you that you aren't who you'd like to be.

(Once distant clouds storm a previously empty, blue sky and cover the sun.)

(Nico just smiles as they pass and asks him what animal they look like.)

* * *

They work out an agreement of sorts, Father and him. One that involves Percy Jackson, his hero. Nico knows, deep down, that there's a catch, but he likes to think Mamma taught him to give people a chance before judging them.

 _Nico_ would want to have a chance, anyways.

"I've found out some things. I want to make you an offer."

"What?"  
  
"The way to beat Luke. If I'm right, it’s the only way you can."  
  
"...Okay. I'm listening."  
  


Alas, Nico has always been easily distracted, especially when it comes to Percy Jackson. Or maybe he's hungry. Maybe he's never had birthday cake before. And maybe he's still a kid.

"Is that– is that blue birthday cake?" 

* * *

Nico knows nature spirits aren't fond of him– they can practically smell death on him, now. But keen spirits can also tell that he has been in the presence of Pan, and those at Camp Half-blood know he was scouted by Grover. 

So when Juniper approaches him and asks for his help in finding Grover despite her fear, Nico knows he has to. It's not like Grover is a stranger, anyways—he was that weird kid who stalked Bianca and Nico at Westover Hall.

It soon becomes apparant, however, that Grover is a very tricky goat to find. Juniper asks him if Grover is really dead and– and Nico doesn't know. There's no ringing in his ears, but nature spirits don't exactly _die_. There _would be no_ ringing in his ears if Grover died.

By the gods, does Nico feel useless. So he retreats like a coward to the Underworld, as always.

He occasionally comes back to the land of the living to get away from Father and to nag Percy for an answer to Nico's... _offer_.

Nico needs Percy to say yes.

(Nico needs to remember his mother and childhood with Bianca. To remember... Apà.)

(Nico needs Percy to be safe, too.)

(Nico has always been protective and with Bianca being _really gone_ – well, now Nico needs Percy to be safe or he might go insane.)

Percy always tells him that there has to be another way. There isn't.

There isn't and people have died and will continue to die if Percy doesn't follow through. 

Of course, they won't blame him. Beckendorf doesn't. 

(Bianca doesn't.)

They won't blame him because it isn't his fault, but Nico knows that it's still Percy's responsibility.

* * *

Percy tells him the offer is too extreme. Tells him that you can't prevent a Prophecy. Tells him to wait.

Nico is _done_ with waiting.

"No!" Nico snarls. "It has to be now!"

Percy asks if he's alright. The concern is a bit more touching than it should be, but it doesn't stop Nico from manipulating him.

  
  
"…I'm sorry if I'm being too pushy, but two years ago my sister gave her life to protect you. I want you to honor that. Do whatever it takes to stay alive and defeat Kronos."  
  
  


Percy pauses, as planned.

"All right. What do we do first?"  
  
  


Nico smiles.

"First, we'll need to retrace Luke's steps."

* * *

Lady Hestia waits for them outside May Castellan's house. Nico remembers talking to her when he first came to Camp Half-Blood figuring that she was young and lonely like he was. She was neither, but she still made good company. He certainly appreciated it.

"It's easy to judge others," Hestia warns. "But will you follow Luke's path? Seek the same powers?"  
  
"We have no choice, my Lady. It's the only way Percy stands a chance."  
  
"Not all powers are spectacular. Sometimes the hardest power to master is the power of yielding. Do you believe me?"

Nico believes her, at least. He has no idea when to give up and when to brave it out. He has no idea if he's really supposed to be pushing Percy like this.

But he is, and Percy is finally agreeing to Nico's offer.

"I have to continue, my Lady. I have to stop Luke... I mean, Kronos."

"Very well."

And with that, Lady Hestia sends them to Percy's home for Sally Jackson's blessing.

* * *

A visit to Central Park's gateway to the Underworld finds Grover alive and well. Morpheus, the traitor, had placed him in a deep sleep for the better part of two months, but his recent awakening via empathy link is a great convenience to Nico and Percy—they need music to enter the Underworld.

Nico can't help but lag behind Percy as they enter, his agreement with Father suddenly becoming very real.

_("Sometimes the hardest power to master is the power of yielding. Do you believe me?")_

It's far too late to back out _now_.

"So, Nico... how do we do this?"  
  
"We have to go inside the gates first."  
  
"But the river's _right_ _here_."  
  
"I have to get something. It's the only way."

They soon come across the Furies, including the one who apparently used to be Percy's Math teacher.

This is it.

"I've done what my father asked. Take us to the palace."  
  
"Wait a second, Nico. What do you–"  
  
"I'm afraid _this_ is my new lead, Percy. My father promised me information about my family, but he wants to see you before we try the river. I'm sorry."  
  
"...You tricked me?"

_Of course I did, idiot._

Percy lunges with the same fierceness that made Nico believe in heroes at Westover Hall, but the Furies pick him up like a disobedient kitten before he even touches Nico. 

Percy's sword slips as he dangles maybe sixty feet in the air.

  
"Oh, don't struggle, honey," Alecto cackles at Percy. "I'd hate to drop you."

Nico's a good person, really, but he'd do anything for his family.

* * *

"Father, I have done as you asked."  
  
"Took you long enough. _Bianca_ would've done a better job."

Of course Bianca would have.

Percy butts in.

"What do you want, Hades?"  
  
"To talk, of course." Father smiles cruelly. "Didn't Nico tell you?"  
  
"This whole quest was a lie! Nico brought me here to get me killed!"  
  
"Oh, no. I'm afraid Nico was _quite_ sincere about wanting to help you. The boy is as honest as he is dense. I simply convinced him to take a small detour and bring you here first."

  
  
Honest? What makes Father think that? Since when has Nico ever been _honest_? The dense part—fair, but Nico has been weaving lies together like a master since he first came to D.C. not knowing who his mother was.

  
  
"Father, you promised that Percy would not be harmed. You said if I brought him, you would tell me about my past—about my mother."

  
  
Queen Persephone sighs and inevitably starts an argument between her and Lady Demeter.

"Excuse me," Percy interrupts. "But if you're going to kill me, could you just get on with it?"  
  
"Well, this one has an attitude." Lady Demeter notes.  
  
"Indeed." Father agrees. "I'd love to kill him."  
  
"Father! You _promised_! You said you only wanted to talk to him– you said if I brought him, you'd explain."  
  
"Let's see... what can I tell you? She was a wonderful woman—for a mortal, of course. Her name was Maria, she was from Venice, and her father was a diplomat in D.C. That's where I met her. When you and your sister were young, it was a bad time to be children of Hades. World War II was brewing and a few of my, ah, _other_ children were leading the losing side. I put you out of harm's way."

...That's it? _Really_?

  
  
"But what _happened_ to her?"  
  
"Not important."  
  
"What? Of course it's important! And you had other children—why were we the only ones who were sent away? And who was the lawyer who got us out?"

"You would do well to listen more and talk less, _boy_."

Nico is nothing if not stubborn. 

"Why did you free us from the casino?"  
  
"You know _why_. This idiot son of Poseidon _cannot_ be allowed to be the Child of the Prophecy."

Percy takes this as permission to talk.

"You should be helping Olympus! All the other gods are fighting Typhon, and you're just _sitting_ here—"  
  
"Waiting things out. When's the last time Olympus ever helped me, half-blood? When's the last time a child of mine was ever welcomed as a hero? Why should I help them? I'd rather stay here with my forces intact."  
  
"And when Kronos comes after you?"  
  
"Let him try. He'll be weakened. And my son here, Nico—well, he's not much now, I'll grant you. It would've been better if Bianca were alive. But give him four more years of training and when Nico turns sixteen, as the prophecy says, he will save the world. And I will be king of the gods."  
  
"You're crazy. Kronos will crush you, right after he finishes _pulverizing_ Olympus."  
  
"Well, you'll get a chance to find out, half-blood—you'll be waiting out this war in my dungeons."

* * *

  
  
"No!" Nico yells. "Father, that wasn't our _agreement_. And you haven't told me everything!"

"I've told you all you need to know. As for our agreement, I spoke with Jackson. I did not harm him. You got your information–"

Nico stares up at him in rage.

Perhaps Nico is like his mother. The stubborn defiance, the glint of madness in his eyes, the innate goodness that he can't fully recognize within himself—perhaps Nico is like Rhea.

_Does it matter?_

His mother was an obedient coward in the end, just as Nico is now, watching in disbelief as Hades breaks his promise to him.

The sight makes Hades _sick_.

Perhaps, if Nico is like Rhea and can do nothing but obey him–

(–perhaps Hades is like Kronos.)

(He has lived _so_ long, long enough that the notion makes him feel nothing at all.)

(It isn't anything new.)

  
  
"–If you had wanted a better deal, you should've made me swear on the Styx. Now, go to your room!" Hades commands, like he used to when Nico was a toddler.

* * *

Nico has to fix this.

Call it good manners or a crippling sense of responsibility—either way, Nico needs to fix this. So he immediately gets off the floor of his room and starts on a warpath towards Percy Jackson's soul. Various guards get in his way, but Nico is no stranger to Morpheus and promptly puts them all to sleep.

He feels like some weak, naïve, vulnerable little kid, a helpless idiot.

Like he did under Minos' tutelage. 

(Cold lips on his forehead, gentle snips as black curls fall to the floor, a hesitant and loving smile–)

_("It would've been better if Bianca were alive.")_

Nico knows Father is not made entirely of steel, but he also knows that this isn't quite love. He wanted it to be, though.

He wanted it to be, so he let himself get hurt by inevitably broken promises.

_("I won't tell on you, but you have to_ promise _to keep my sister safe.")_

_Don't cry, idiot. Don't._ cry _._

Percy doesn't have any faith in him. Nico doesn't blame him, but it still hurts. Or maybe that's just Percy choking him.

"Why should I trust _you_?"  
  
"...No...choice?"

Percy grimaces and lets him up. Nico coughs in pain, but he still gets Percy to the Styx River. It doesn't matter that he's about to pass out—Nico needs to do this. He's just on the edge of succumbing when the ghost of Achilles comes to warn Percy.

Suddenly, it doesn't seem like a good idea. Percy won't be able to defeat Luke without invincibility, but he probably won't... _die_ , right? ...And, if so, from the looks of it, jumping in the Styx might just kill him first.

Nico needs Percy safe, not dead. 

Too late. Percy has already jumped.

When he comes out, he's not dead, but he looks like he should be.

He should be dead when Father arrives, but he's not.

Nico's sorry, but he's not sure for what.

Maybe for everything.

* * *

"Go back to your father—tell him he owes me for letting him go. Find out what's going to happen to Mount Olympus and convince him to help."

Nico tries to beg with his eyes, but Percy doesn't so much as wince. When did he get so bad at communicating?

_Please don't leave me here. Please don't leave me. Please don't leave. Please don't–_

Okay, what control can he salvage?

  
  
"I... I can't. He'll hate me now."

No, Percy heard what Father said.

"I mean... even more."  
  
"You have to. You _owe_ me."

_Lord_ , how ashamed and uncomfortable does that make Nico feel?

  
  
"Percy, I told you I was sorry. Please, let me come with you. I want to fight."  
  
"You'll be more help down here."  
  
"You mean you don't trust me anymore."   
  
"Just go back to your father. Work on him. You're the only person who might be able to get him to listen."

Apparently there's no control to be had.

  
  
"That's a depressing thought. I'll do my best. ...Besides, he's still hiding something from me about my mom. Maybe I can find out what."

(Call it good manners or a crippling sense of responsibility—either way, Nico needs to fix this.)

* * *

Nico does what he's learned to do best—he tries to resurrect the dead. His mother, specifically.

It really, really doesn't go to plan. He learns about his past, sure, just one memory, but he recognizes the full-body dread. 

The memory is of the hotel Mamma died in. The sound, the sight.

" _What. have. you. done?_ "

It's Father. Nico can't help but put a hand to his cheek, half expecting Mamma's blood to be there. It used to be, reached him before Father could shroud them.

_("…convince him to help.")_

_("You_ owe _me.")_

Suddenly, Nico knows what he has to say. It's a dirty, _dirty_ trick, but– 

Nico's desperate.

But he also likes to think Mamma taught him better than that. 

(And maybe it was nice, in its own way, when Father called him honest.)

However, dread has been known to make Nico to do horrible things.

He believes himself when he opens his mouth to tell Father that he's just an incompetent coward who couldn't protect the love of his life from moody, immature Zeus. What makes him think he can protect _anything_ from _Kronos_? What makes him think that he owes Nico _nothing_?

But Nico miraculously closes his mouth instead. Maybe it's his conscience, a built-in version of Bianca whispering in his ear. Or maybe it's because he's a good person, but Nico's been doubting that, recently.

...He'll use it as a last resort.

* * *

"You _have_ to!" Nico insists.

Feeling rather childish, Hades covers his ears as Nico chases after him.

  
  
"I don't _have_ to do _anything_! I'm a god!"  
  
"Father, if Olympus falls, your own palace's safety doesn't matter! You'll fade, too!"  
  
"I am not an Olympian!"

His family has made that quite clear.

  
  
"You _are_ , whether you like it or _not_." Nico says, sounding very much like Maria, tone threatening.  
  
"You saw what they did to your mother—Zeus killed her! And you would have me _help them_? They deserve what they get!"

But Nico has grown a backbone, it seems. 

"Mamma understood family. That's why she didn't want to leave us. You can't just _abandon_ your family because they did something horrible. You've done horrible things to them, too."

_You can't just hate me because I'm not someone else. Please, it isn't fair._

Hades pushes what he thinks Nico is saying aside.

  
  
"Maria _died_!"   
  
"You still can't just ignore them!"  
  
"I've done very well for _thousands_ of years."  
  
"And does that make you _feel_ _better_?" Nico asks, impressively condescending for a twelve-year-old. "Holding grudges is a fatal flaw. Bianca warned me about that– and she was right."

He just _had_ to bring up his sister, didn't he.

  
  
"For demigods! I am immortal, all-powerful! I would not help the other gods if they begged me, if Percy Jackson himself _pleaded–_ "  
  
"You're just as much of an outcast as I am! Stop being _angry_ about it and do something _helpful_ for once. That's the _only_ way they'll _respect_ you!"

It reminds him of his father, before and after he swallowed him. Hades promised to never let someone control him like that ever again. So how is it that some frail, stupid, greasy, _pathetic_ child can bring out the worst of him?

Hades' palm fills with black fire, but Nico doesn't so much as flinch. 

"Go ahead, blast me. That's _just_ what the other gods would expect from you. _Prove them_ right."

* * *

Nico wasn't entirely sure that Father wasn't going to kill him, but he supposes that it's a plus that he didn't. He imagines being incorporeal is a hassle and Nico has a battle to fight.

"...Well, even if you're not going to help, _I_ will."

Nico turns, pauses, and glances over his shoulder.

"Don't try to stop me." He says, in one last attempt to convince Father.

It's nearly silent, only Nico's steps making a sound. Even Lady Demeter and Queen Persephone have stopped eating their cereal to watch. Eventually, Father walks back to his wife and his sister just to be stubborn.

"...Dear, are you really going to let him go? He's only a child, you know." Queen Persephone says, as quietly as a god can.

"I thought you hated him anyways, Love." Father hisses.

"...Please, can we go? I'm _so_ bored. Besides, don't you have daddy issues? This'd be a nice way to take out your frustration, wouldn't it?" Queen Persephone asks instead of answering.

Maybe there's hope for them yet.

Lady Demeter nods in agreement. She did fight against Kronos the first time for a reason.

"No appreciation for agriculture. I'd like to introduce him to the business end of my pitchfork."

Nico continues walking. They all know what he's doing—he could have shadowtraveled by now. The fact that they haven't commented on it yet is very promising.

(He knows that the second he walks from the doors is the second Father will do _something_. Nico knows that he cares for him, however little. Love and hate are not mutually exclusive, Nico knows all too well.)

His hand touches the door.

"Nico, where do you think you're going? Come back here this instant!"

Nico can feel one of his freak-outs coming on, an uncontrollable and unreasonable rage. Bianca would understand.

"What does it matter? Are you trying to _protect_ me? I don't want it. I don't _need you_. If you want to be selfish and stubborn, be my guest. But we both know how that ends. Mamma, Bianca..." Nico lists cruelly.

"You _dare_ –"

"Her blood got on me, you know. Sometimes I can feel it there. And Bianca's death _still_ makes my ears _ring_. They're _my_ family, too, just as Olympus is yours. So why don't you protect who's left, huh?"

Bianca would understand. 

Bianca would have stopped him long ago.

_("Sometimes the hardest power to master is the power of yielding. Do you believe me?")_

Nico's a good person, really, but–

* * *

It was a terrible thing to say, but Hades knows this is a desperate situtation. And perhaps it is his own doing that Nico is so brash and mean.

_"…You can't just abandon your family because they did something horrible. You've done horrible things to them, too."_

Him and Nico, they really have, haven't they? This whole thing is ridiculous. It's not Nico's fault and it isn't Hades'. But Hades is the parent, the one who is ultimately responsible.

Hades, without breaking eye-contact with Nico, summons his staff.

"Go prepare my chariot. I have a... _bone_ to pick."

Nico's face twitches into a smile for a split second before he seemingly figures out that he's not off the hook yet. 

"We'll be talking later, young man."

Persephone cheers, always excited to cause chaos. 

(Maybe Hades gives in because he would... miss his siblings. Mostly, he knows it's because Nico thinks it's important. For a parent, that's enough.)

(It was never enough when he was young. It hasn't been enough for Nico, but maybe it should be.) 

* * *

They never do talk. With the hero's welcome they get in Olympus, Hades knows that they're both out of their depth and too uncomfortable already. Maybe they'll get to it, one day, but time is _so_ fleeting for immortals.

The Olympians are clapping him on the back, and while Nico doesn't quite receive the same treatment, he looks pleased enough with just his dad's acceptance.

...Maybe Nico isn't like Maria, like Hades, like Rhea, or like Kronos.

Maybe Nico is his own person.

(Maybe Nico is really just his son, that little kid with a gummy smile who craved touch more than Hades himself.)

So maybe he puts a hand in Nico's shoulder.

(The sun shines freely, warming the tips of his fingers and nearly blinding him with light.)

(Typical—the sun has always been an egotistical ass.)

He can feel Nico beaming. 

Maybe it is love.

**Author's Note:**

> wow, this took a while, sorry about that. ive been having some recurring problems w/ my health recently hahaha ✌ we just _love_ passing out 😎


End file.
